He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
