get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
