And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
