Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize