Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
