Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize