Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
