she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
