One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
