morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
