I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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