I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
