operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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