I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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