3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize