i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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