he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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