My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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