You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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