dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
