so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
