the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
