You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
