Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
