so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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