Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
