Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
