I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
