just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
