plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
