yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
