I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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