Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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