found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
