Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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