like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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