I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
