Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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