just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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