Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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