Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
