Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
