I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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