Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
