pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
