guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
