Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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