Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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