Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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