it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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