I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize