I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
