I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
