im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
