I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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