Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
