yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
