when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
this will be a night to untag.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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