His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
420 ftw
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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