I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
