Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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