maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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