You can't special order awesome
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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