the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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