As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize