that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
