I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
