eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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