is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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