does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
