you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
