thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
