my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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