Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
