Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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