he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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