ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I will die if light touches me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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