You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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