i barfeds in our rink
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
