If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
