Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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