What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
