I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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